ja edelliseen vielä, voitaisko lopettaa sateenkaariväestön vertaaminen pedofiileihin ja eläimiinsekaantujiin? lapset ja eläimet ei kykene antamaan tietosta vastausta seksiin; aikuiset ihmiset taasen pystyy.
Kuten suuri filosofi Kyösti Pöysti kerran totesi, jos et erota kahden aikuisen vapaaehtoista suhdetta eläimeen sekaantumisesta, suosittelen, ettet ikinä hanki koiraa
i feel like ikea turns me into a different person. i walk into the swedish furniture jail and suddenly i’m a 29 year old pinterest mom who owns 6546 minimalist storage bins and names her daughter parsley
so my roomates girlfriend just caught me in the kitchen and its so hard to play it cool when you never see this person you only hear her yowling like a cat in heat while her asshole gets played with so me, trying to act as casual as i possibly could, forgot i was holding an onion and not a delightful apple and bit into it fully expecting a honeycrisp but instead got the equiv of biting solid piss
lol wtaf. i can’t read a single word of this paragraph
Ok but imagine being the gf here
You’ve been chillin with ur S/O and u decide to get up and get a snack. U never talk to ur S/O’s roommate, but u wanna play it cool like u didn’t just have sex 20 minutes ago in this apartment while said roommate was probably home. Awk af, but u got this.
U look up and nod at them, about to offer a noncommittal “hey” or “how’s it going,” when the fucking roommate just
Why do people never want to tell you their middle name like who gives a shit its not a nuclear launch code its your damn name
reblog with your middle name in the tags
Actually, the practice dates back to the reason we have middle names in the first place!
Some time around the dark ages, everyone believed in witchcraft and wizardry, like ya do. A big principle of magic was the idea of “true names.” If a spellcaster knew your full name, they could do whatever the hell they wanted to you. Of course, people didn’t want that, but there were enough people with the same first names that you had to give people your surname as well, to avoid confusion.
The solution? A secret name in the middle that you don’t tell anyone (unless you believe that they’re not able to do magic and/or you trust them enough that if they DID do magic, you’d be fine).
this is some death note shit
Is that why when a parent uses your full name (or even just first and middle name) when they’re angry with you, it feels like they just cast some serious mojo on your soul and you know you are in deep shit?
I’ve just discovered my new favorite painter, Vittorio Reggianini - those smarter than myself probably already know of him as an Italian painter from the 1800s who made satin look even satiny-er than satin. I just cannot get over how much he loved painting women who were NOT. HAVING. A. MAN’S. SHIT.
But there was one hottie that everyone seemed to like, and I can’t blame them…
“sometimes we fall in love with someone quite the opposite of us, that doesn’t mean they’re the wrong person. it just means, we’re about to go on one heck of an adventure; to understand why love is such a big deal.”
I was doing my makeup today while my brother was fixing his hair. It was quiet and we were both busy doing ourselves up, but after I put on mascara I noticed that Nico was staring at me. “Did you know that some guys wear mascara?” he said and I was like pfft, yeah, of course, dude. I know guys who put on way more than I do. Nico just nodded and continued with his hair. A few minutes later, he brought it up again. “I know a guy who played in my baseball team that would put on mascara. It was … cool, I guess.” And after a moment of awkward silence, I turned to him and went: “Nico, do you wanna try some on?”
Yep. He did. He told me so after a little bit of asking, but he felt intimidated to try it on himself. So, I grabbed a really natural looking mascara and lightly put on one coat for him. It wasn’t all cute and serene, btw, it was very us (”fuck, don’t poke my eye out, bro” “nico, are you fuckin serious, i’m not gonna” “aaah, fuck, you’re gonna poke me!” “stop moving!”). But afterward he looked at himself in the mirror and was hesitant. He said he didn’t know if he liked it. And i just shrugged because…I guess, I didn’t want him to think anything wild about it. He could wear mascara or not, but I didn’t want him to be insecure about it all the same. “Well, that’s fine,” I said. “It’s no big. You just wipe it off and it’s gone. You want me to pass you a wipe?”
But he kept staring at himself in the mirror and he was like: No, actually…I like it. It makes my eyes pop. Then Nico turned around and waggled his eyebrows at me and went: bitches love my eyes. they won’t stand a chance now.
Today, Nico came into my room while I was doing my nails and he asked me what’s good with my mascara and I was like ???. Anyways, that was his form of asking for mascara again, checking himself out in the mirror for a minute and a half, and finally declaring: “I fucks with how this makes my eyes look”
